Mature Student: Starting my second degree

So things have been a bit quiet on the blog recently (dust ball rolls past). OK so maybe super quiet – I’m sorry my life got in the way; between preparing for my second degree, working all the hours available and jetting off on holiday I’ve been kinda busy.

I guess my biggest news is starting my new degree! Whoop whoop! 12th September saw me enrolling on a whole new course, trying to make some new friends and attempting to get my head around everything. 

I’m almost at the end of my first real week at Uni and I have to say I’ve been loving it. It’s a bit of a slower pace than I’m used to but maybe I just spend my days dashing around. I’ve already learned so much more and it’s all helped make sense of my job too.

We’ve already found out about our first placement (eeek scary!) and I’ve already bought my uniform – even if I do say so myself I don’t think I look too bad in it. And just to add to all that excitement I’ve gone and bought a moped (named Vera) to get me to and from placement as well as to and from uni – it just seemed a bit much cycling with really heavy books.

It’s not all been plane sailing though, in fact on my first day I nearly had a panic attack as I left the house and spent the entire walk across York texting Mr G telling him I was going to be sick. Then I figured the more I push myself to be involved and social the more I’m going to get out of it, so when the opportunity arose I became a course rep for our year too!

So there’s a quick update from me, I’ll be trying to get back into a routine which includes blogging more regularly. Hope you’ve all had a great summer!

Sick Day - Possibly Vintage

Anxiety is more than hyperventilating

When people talk about anxiety attacks they are usually talking about hyperventilating, sweating and nausea – a panic attack. It’s horrible. But there are many other types of anxiety attacks that get glossed over, ignored or put down to personality traits or moods.

Not only do I think this is incredibly unfair, I also think that it’s detrimental to people’s health. We all deal with anxiety in different ways, and recognising and understanding these types of anxiety attacks will only help people to overcome them.

Unpredictable irritability

This is an anxiety attack I suffer from a lot. It makes me feel like Jekyll and Hyde. One moment I’m happy as Larry and the next I’m snapping at people or chewing someone’s ear off about the slightest thing.

There are usually triggers for me with this. Certain topics, situations or senses that cause anxiety for me. The unpredicable part being that I never see any of it coming, or realise that I’m being irritable until I see the reaction of the person I’m with.

Hypersensitivity to mess and unorganisation

Whether it’s nit picking, very mild OCD or just the inability to allow something to be messy it can all be a form of anxiety attack. Excuse the pop psyc lesson but I think this happens most to me when I’m waiting for an answer to something or feel like something is out of my control, and decide to take control of my environment instead.

I’ve thrown out plates we’ve had for years because they had a chip (which had been there for a while), refused to let Mr G help put the shopping away because “he’d put it in the wrong place” and sat and cried because when I came in from work there were some letters on the coffee table.

Stumbling over words or talking too fast

This is a big one for me. If you know me you’ll have noticed it quite a lot this year. When talking I stumble over my words, stutter or forget the word I want to use. This is infuriating for me as I’ve always been rather articulate and it feels as though my way of communicating has taken a hit.

This happens to me all the time. I can be sat at home chatting with Mr G and get so frustrated I just give up and stop talking or I’ll feel anxious chatting to someone new and end up looking like a bafoon.

Zoning out

When I say zoning out I don’t mean daydreaming. I mean completely leaving your body and shutting everything out. There have been times where I’ve zoned out so completely that when touched our talked to to gain my attention I haven’t replied.

Do you suffer with anxiety? Have you ever experienced any of these attacks?

img_20160702_192854.jpg

My Story Isn’t Over Yet

This week has been a pretty bad one for my mental health. I’ve worked back to back shifts, not eaten properly, struggled to sleep and even forgotten to take medication. I could feel myself sinking back to where I was in February and I just can’t let that happen.

After a pretty good sleep (read long sleep) on a day off, one of our best friends came to stay for the weekend. After a few drinks Mr G finally admitted he wouldn’t mind me getting a nose ring so I booked myself into our local tattoo and piercing place the next day. When I arrived I asked how much it would be to get a small, simple tattoo on my wrist.

The semicolon. Something that can join two independent clauses if not already joined by a conjunction.

You may have seen the Facebook Ads for jewellery with a portion of the profit given to depression charities? No? They use the semicolon and the phrase my story isn’t over yet.

When I saw it something clicked, and after a pretty rubbish week a needed a little pick me up. Without really thinking I asked to have a semicolon tattooed on my wrist as a permanent reminder that my story isn’t over. While my ups and downs are completely independent areas of my life, they are joined by the fact it is my life.

Each day when I admire it (because let’s face everyone admires their new tattoo for the first few days) I smile a little and think about that phrase.

20160624_155152_hdr.jpg

Hearing Aids At 26

Hearing Aids are for old people. Or at least that’s what I thought until last year when they were given to me.

image

For as long as I can remember I’ve had issues with my ears. I have perforations in both ears (holes in my ear drum) one from a really bad infection and one from gromits. Except trying a graft to heal them – which was very painful and unsuccessful – the problem hadn’t really effected my life. Until now.

Continue reading